Models of the church

Only $22 (batteries and assembly not included)

Available for purchase exclusively at the Cathedral Gift Shop is this replica model of the Cathedral of Our Lady of the "Angles." The models are individually handpainted, making each reproduction unique. In fact, the one pictured above resembles any one of the many lean-to cardboard shelters which the homeless along Fifth Street make for themselves to keep warm on cold nights. A Cathedral model would make a great gift for Dad on Father's Day to remind him of how grateful he should be to have a roof over his head.

The color of the model, like that of the building itself, is said to be reminiscent of the sun-baked adobe walls of the California Missions. Truth is, this alleged continuity between the Cathedral and the California Missions was the half-baked idea of the building's architect, No-way-José Moneo.

Seismologists might want to buy a dozen or more of the Cathedral models to test the ability of the actual building to withstand a major earthquake. Scientists predict that the BIG ONE, which is sure to come, will be triggered by a newly discovered fault line running directly beneath the Cathedral. In spite of all this, the eternally optimistic Cardinal Mahony insists that the edifice will stand until about the year 2502. By then, however, L.A. will have become completely Muslum because the Catholics of Mahony's time never heard of Humanae Vitae. Oh, to be alive long enough to see the look on the Mullah's face when he beholds the Cathedral altar designed by Mahony himself and which was fashioned out of a huge chunk of marble imported from Turkey!

WARNING: This model is not intended to be placed on the dashboard of your car or hung from the rear view mirror. With some minor modifications, the model could be converted into a dog house for your Rottweiler.