Jul 13, 2005

Mahony's Cathedral and the Gospel of Life



The new, nominally Catholic, pro-abort mayor of Los Angeles was warmly received by Cardinal Mahony at his Cathedral for a prayer service on July 1. Meanwhile, a group of about 20 pro-life college students were harassed and threatened with arrest by Cathedral goons because they wore T-shirts which said: YOU CAN'T BE CATHOLIC AND PRO-ABORTION.

Add to this travesty of justice, the words spoken by Cardinal Mahony in the first homily that he preached at his "Our Lady of the Angels Cathedral" on September 2, 2002:

"Be assured that the fullness of the Gospel of Life will be proclaimed here, and each human life, from its earliest moments to its eldest years, will find in this place nurture and respect."
Now I ask you, how does one explain the stark incongruity between these words and Mahony's actions?

I can think of a few possible explanations and perhaps L.A. Catholic readers will come up with some of their own.

1. There was a typo on the final version of the 32 drafts of Mahony's cathedral dedication homily. It should have read: "Be assured that the fullness of the Gospel of Life will NOT be proclaimed here, and each human life, from its earliest moments to its eldest years, will NOT find in this place nurture and respect."

2. Mahony did not write the homily himself but had it ghostwritten by one of his many pro-abort, political cronies. However, there was a malfunction with the Tel·e·Promp·Ter donated by Mahony's billionaire buddy, Rupert Murdoch, which caused a couple of small, but very important words to fall off the screen.

3. It wasn't really Cardinal Mahony who gave the homily. On September 2, 2002, he was just too busy talking with his lawyers about the daily barrage of clergy sexual abuse accusations. He had no choice but to hire a "Cardinal Mahony impersonator" out of the Hollywood phone book who did an excellent job during the dedication festivities (I hear that Michael Jackson impersonators are expensive, but the guys who do Mahony are pretty cheap).

4. He got distracted by actress Angelica Houston who was sitting in the front pew to the left, or was it body builder (now governor) Arnold Schwarzenegger who was sitting right behind her? (Houston is married to Robert Graham who was responsible for making the "Great Bronze Doors").

5. He was blinded by the milky, alabaster-filtered light bouncing off the boring, brown cement walls.

6. He has left brain, right brain issues.

7. He speaks with forked tongue.

8. He sports two faces.

9. He's got Betty Davis eyes ("And she'll tease you, she'll unease you, all the better just to please you")

10. He stopped attending his Prevaricator Anonymous meetings and fell off the wagon.

Any other explanations I may have overlooked?

9 Comments:

Anonymous Patrick said...

"Earliest moments" meant earliest moments after birth, not conception. "Here" meant somewhere on planet earth.

4:06 PM  
Anonymous Xochilt said...

Why does he not just say "from concepton"?

4:08 PM  
Anonymous Sean said...

I frankly think the man is deranged. There is no other plausible explanation that I can.

4:11 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Mahony has got to go, the sooner the better. Pope Benedict, please do something quick!

4:13 PM  
Blogger Non Sum Dignus said...

*** Now I ask you, how does one explain the stark incongruity between these words and Mahony's actions? I can think of a few possible explanations and perhaps L.A. Catholic readers will come up with some of their own... Any other explanations I may have overlooked? ***

Flash Master M says;

1. "Who placed the Code of Canon Law dustcover over my copy of Heresy For Dummies??!!"

2. "Simon sezzzzzz......... prove Our Lady of Akita right!!"

3. While preaching his famous September 2, 2002 sermon at OLOTA Auto Parts Warehouse, His Accidency bites his lower lip, puts on his best Arkansas accent and asks with all sincerity; "what's the definition of 'is'?"

4. "What do you mean this isn't an episode of Punk'd? Man, I swear I saw Ashton Kutcher back by the Sacred Broom Closet and Meditation Cubicle. Dude... I was just playin' for the cameras! You do believe me, dont'chya homies?"

5. "Extremism in the defence of Modernism is no vice"

6. "I've done nothing wrong. Like every other bishop, I'm a direct spiritual descendant of one of the Apostles. In my case, it's Judas... but still an Apostle"

7. "You can fool some of the people some of the time, but you can't fo... aw screw it, I'LL FOOL ALL OF YOU!!! MWAAAA-HA-HA!!"

8. ".... excuse me for a moment whilst I change out of my sheep's clothing"

9. "*cough*... *cough*... sorry 'bout that. All this darned smoke in the sanctuary has me confused a lot lately"

10. "Damn it all! This is what I get for listening to Grand Jedi Yoda; 'Destroy Church Catholic, you must'. Thanks for nuthin', Yoda"


http://mypeoplepc.com/members/whitemanfamily/Catholic_Caveman/index.html

6:49 PM  
Blogger Venerable Aussie said...

I think Patrick and Xochilt are on to something here. Why IS he saying "earliest moments" and "eldest years"? My experience is that when people start using unusual and ambiguous terminology then they're usually leaving the backdoor open for a quick retreat.

12:17 AM  
Blogger Barry Cuba said...

"I dreamed of how it would look," he says, still gazing upward. "But I never thought it could be so beautiful."
- Roger Cardinal Mahony

11:35 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

JOSEPH D'HIPPOLITO SAYS...

non sum dignus, you made my day! :)

10:40 PM  
Blogger Non Sum Dignus said...

Happy to oblige, Joseph!!

2:16 AM  

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